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7 мая в 12:18 7 мая

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Paul Filatov

7 мая

Норм
Но лучше заменить во второй строфе "Пума" на "она"

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Dorimimi

7 мая

Или "Пума ласкова, мягка"

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Paul Filatov

7 мая

На 4 строки два раза одно и то же слово "пума"... Дело вкуса

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Капитан Сосулька

7 мая

Не лучше) нужно убрать лишний слог, а не передвигать ударение)

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Чистый инструмент

7 мая

очень даже барто

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